Heart and Soul
by Shanynde
Summary: AU after Caspian, MOVIEVERSE. After returning home, both Susan and Caspian try to move on and heal their hearts. But when Susan needs help, will Caspian come to her aid, or will it be too late?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Narnia

First, I am an avid fan of C.S Lewis, but after seeing the movie, I fell in love with the CaspianXSusan pairing. So AU after Caspian.

Chapter 1:

He was riding in the woods, riding faster than he ever had before. He rode into a clearing, where a clear pool of water awaited him. He jumped off of his horse and walked over to the pool.

As he looked at the pool, the waters swirled, showing him a beautiful young woman with striking features. Her dark hair hung loosely, she wore a white blouse and a red skirt. Her eyes were a striking color, filled with fire and hope.

Softly, he called out her name, "Susan."

Caspian awoke with a start, sweat dripping from his face. It was always the same. Every night he dreamed of her, and every day he reminisced about their first and final kiss.

He could feel her lips on his again, giving him a kiss that had threatened to burn him alive. He remembered the unexplainable feeling of elation and when Susan was near him. This something between them that made the air sizzling around them and sent bolts through his body when they touched.

That kiss, oh how he desired one more. How he desired to allow her to roam her hands over his bare back, to touch her silken hair, so soft and warm, to engulf her essence, for one more day.

Whenever he was in her presence, he was willing to forget everything. To forget the kingdom, to simply ride away into the sunset, with her beside him.

What was it that about her that drew him like a moth to a flame? It was her kindness, her unwavering loyalty to her brothers and sister, her skills in battle. She had shown no fear; she was willing to do anything to protect her family.

There was no going back anymore. Not now that he had tasted her. Not after that kiss. He needed to find out what more there was. Needed to find out if it was just a once in a lifetime experience.

He needed to be with her.

The intensity of his need scared him. More than anything else. But it didn't change anything.

For it was impossible. For she would never return. He was doomed to only see her in his dreams.

CASPIAN-SUSAN

Little did he know that at that same moment, Susan's thoughts were the same. In her dreams, she heard him, calling out her name. She stood next to the window, her eyes filled with tears.

Oh, how her heart had hurt when Aslan had proclaimed that she and Peter could never come back. They were too old, and they had learned everything that they needed to learn. And for not allowing them to come back, she had been taught her last lesson. She learned to take a risk, for you never knew if it was the last time that the opportunity would present itself.

Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost, rather, than to have never loved at all, had never been in love, she decided. Slowly she put her hand on the window, her mind racing back to Narnia, to her home, to a young man who's mere stare was able to unnerve her completely.

She hadn't expected to fall in love. Lucy and Peter were the dreamers, the romantic ones. Edmund and herself, on the other hand, allowed logic to rule. When they had gone back, she had noted the handsome boy, no, man, but it wasn't until she grew to know him, to understand his mind, and his heart, that she knew that logic would not aid her. So, she followed her heart, gave in to her emotions, and kissed him.

She knew from the moment she kissed him that she loved him. She wanted more, she needed him. It was as if he were an addiction, one that she would never have the chance to quench her thirst, for they would never meet again. And that emotion pained her to no end.

They say that there are two types of people in this world, and in Narnia. There are those who love once, and those who love multiple times. Susan desperately hoped that she could learn to love again, but she knew that she had given all of herself, and that she had lost her heart. Caspian possessed it, and she knew that she would never get it back.

Sobbing, she broke down, tears freely falling from her face. How she wished that she had one more day, one more moment, to see his dark eyes searching hers, looking into her soul.

Now her heart was gone, stolen by a handsome king, and her soul would never be the same.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

First off, thanks to everyone who reviewed and/or put my story on their story alerts. It makes me want to write more. This is going to be a 10 chapter or more, depending on the amount of feedback. Take Care, and thanks!!

Chapter 2:

Fall had come and gone, winter now in its place. Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy were all home for Christmas Break, and enjoying being with each other. However, it had become painfully clear that this last adventure into Narnia had changed all of them, but especially Peter and Susan.

Peter, who had truly become a man, while fighting Miraz, felt guilty about nearly accepting the White Witch's offer, and Edmund had to talk to him. The witch was very tempting, no one knew this more than Edmund, and he was able to talk to Peter about it, help him realize that although he was tempted, he did not follow through. Peter had indeed become a man, a true leader. But after the battle at Miraz's palace, he finally understood the great cost of war, and was scared to go into battle again, for he would have to register for war within the next two years.

Susan on the other hand, had taken to walking in solitude. She seemed much more distant than she had before they left. She still mothered all of them, but the sparkle in her eye had greatly dimmed.

One day when Susan was walking alone, in the woods, near their home, when she heard footsteps. For a moment, she remembered how Caspian saved her that day. And for a split second, she allowed herself to hope that it was Caspian.

"Susan," the voice called.

She sighed. It was only Lucy.

She turned, "Lucy, is everything okay?" Lucy had been the least changed out of the four; perhaps it was because she still had hope. She was still a child, and didn't understand everything. She was still untouched by battle. Susan hoped that it would always remain so.

"No, everything is not okay," Lucy said frowning. "You're not happy."

Susan looked at Lucy. "Much has changed."

"Susan, I don't understand." Lucy said as she sat down on the ground, beckoning Susan to do the same. "We've all changed, but you the most. I miss my sister."

"Oh Lucy, I'm still me. I just," Susan paused, as if searching to find the right words, "I lost something in Narnia."

"What," she asked confused. "What did you loose? "

"My heart, Lucy. I lost my heart."

But you only kissed him once. You haven't seen him in months."

"Sometimes all you need is one kiss." Susan explained softly. "He is," she paused, "an amazing man. After fighting with him in battle, riding with him, being his friend, and loving him, how could any other boy or man compare?" she questioned. "Lucy, he has my heart. My heart no longer belongs to me, I left it in Narnia. And, I'm never going to see him again," she said whispering the last part, almost brokenly.

Lucy patted Susan on the back. "I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I wish you could go back to see him."

Susan smiled slightly, "Lucy, even if I could go back, Caspian would have already died. It's been 5 months here, who knows how many hundreds of years have passed. Lucy," she paused looking at her, "you'll understand when you're older."

"Peter said that to me when you and Caspian kissed."

"And he was right. Someday, a moment will occur, it's different for everyone, but it will feel like you are about to explode, about to fly, you'll feel alive. Truly alive. And nothing in the world will matter except for you and that other person. It was the most bittersweet moment I've ever experienced."

"It was when you two kissed," Lucy interrupted. "Wasn't it?"

Susan shook her head. "No, right before that. When he said that he wished that we had more time. We looked at each other, and his eyes, it was as if I could see into his soul, and he could see into mine. And, as we just stared at each other, and I discovered that it wasn't just an attraction. It was so much deeper. And when we came back, it was if I was dead. Not my body, but my spirit. Lucy," she paused, "I would give anything to be able to feel alive once more."

"Susan," Lucy began worriedly.

She shot Lucy a bittersweet smile. "It's okay Luce. My spirit may be broken, but my body and my mind aren't. I'll be okay, though. I have to be." She looked away and whispered, "I have to be."

The Gentle Queen

The break had ended and the four were on their way to the train. Susan had been doing okay, her mind and heart were elsewhere, however.

"Hurry up Su," Peter called from ahead with Edmund and Lucy. "We'll miss the train."

She looked up, her arms filled with books. "Coming," she called. As she crossed the street, she thought of Caspian, and she looked to the skies. It was the same weather that was the time she shot her bow, and how she had been rewarded with a smile.

She shook her head, such foolish thoughts. She needed to move on, but she knew that she would not be able to. Part of her wondered what type of wife he had chosen, how his children looked. Did she misjudge his feelings? She knew she loved him, but did he love her? With an exception of them riding 

on horseback, or the private moment they had shared before she had gone to speak to Aslan. She could remember it now.

_Flashback:_

_It was dinner, after they had ridden into the city. The coronation was the next day, and that was when Aslan would address everyone. But for tonight, they would celebrate Prince Caspian, soon to be King, and toast to his reign. Susan was happy for Caspian. He would be a great ruler. She wondered what they could call him. Edmund was the just, Peter the Magnificent, what would his title be?_

_She excused herself and began to walk around in the gardens. The beauty of Narnia was exquisite, compared to gray London. The colors were so vibrant, so alive, oh how she adored it. Turning a corner, she saw Caspian sitting alone on a bench. He looked up and saw her._

"_Queen Susan," he said standing._

"_Caspian, no, please, call me Susan. Tomorrow, you will be King, we are equals. Besides, you did save my life. I never did thank you for that."_

"_It was no problem, Susan. I suppose we are even then."_

_She nodded. "Yes. Yes we are." _

_For a moment they both just stared at each other .He took a step towards her, and offered her his hand. "Can I show you around these gardens? They were my mother's."_

_Susan smiled and gracefully put her hand in his, "Yes, I'd love that. Thank you." _

_Caspian smiled, a quiet shy smile, "Shall we?"_

"Susan," she heard someone call. She looked up, only to see the bright lights of a car.

And then everything went dark.

TBC, the more reviews I get, the sooner I update. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Peter, Edmund and Lucy watched in shock as a car hit Susan head on. It was horrible, blood was everywhere. The driver got out of the car, and checked her pulse as the three ran to her.

"We need to get her to a hospital," Peter said as he took Susan in his arms.

The driver nodded, "I'll drive you. I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking and neither was,"

Edmund shook his head, "Save it for later. We have more important things to do now."

The driver nodded and drove them to the hospital, where they met with a doctor. The doctor took one look at Susan and began shouting out orders. The doctor took Susan out of Peter's arms and put her on a stretcher. Two orderlies carried her into a room, and the doctor followed, where three Kings and Queens could do nothing but wait.

Lucy looked up at the clock. They had brought Susan in four hours before, and still no word. Peter just sat, his hands in his face. Edmund has called their mother, she would come as soon as she could. Lucy could only hope and have faith.

Finally the tired doctor walked out and looked for the three. They stood and walked over.

Peter was of course the first to speak.

"Doctor, just how hurt is she?"

"Her internal organs were unharmed, thankfully. She hurt her head, and she is now in a coma. She has two broken ribs, and three bruised ribs. Her legs are broken, as well," the Doctor said in a quiet tone.

"But they'll heal, she'll be fine," Lucy said. "Won't she," she asked in a quieter tone. "When will she wake up?"

The three siblings looked at each other, scared for their other sister.

"Your sister," the doctor paused, "is quite hurt. Medicine cannot do everything, in some cases the patient has to choose to live, to survive. She has to have a powerful will and spirit, that of a queen. Do you know anything that will help wake her up?"

"No." Peter shook his head, "Nothing in this world. Excuse us Doctor, we need to see our sister. Alone," he said in a voice that left no argument.

The doctor nodded and pointed to the room that she was in. The three siblings walked in and were shocked at what they saw.

"Lucy, what I wouldn't give for your magic cordial," Peter said quietly, taking Susan's bruised hand in his.

"Or her magic horn," Edmund commented. "To call for help. To take her home."

"Or to bring him to her," Lucy said quietly.

Edmund looked confused, but Peter shook his head. "No, Lucy, it's been around six months since we left. In Narnian Time, that's at least 500 years."

Lucy rolled her eyes, "But we were gone for 1300 years, and yet, we appeared."

"It's not the same."

"But still, we have to try. The cordial can only heal her body, He can heal her spirit, make her whole."

"Lucy, like Peter said, Caspian's dead. Not even he could live to be 500. And, even if he is somehow, still alive, how could an old man help Susan," Edmund finally interjected.

"So if he's dead, then why would Susan ever want to wake up? She loves him," Lucy asked annoyed at her brothers.

"She has us," Edmund said.

"It's not the same," Peter said as he stroked Susan's hand. "You're right Lucy. Go. Beg Aslan to allow you to return, if only to get the cordial or the horn. You were always the most faithful, please; ask him to help us get our sister back."

Lucy merely nodded.

"Ed you go with her. I'll stay with Su, and explain things to our parents."

"Where can we go? How can I contact him?"

Peter gave her a slight smile, "Go to the chapel, it's quiet, no one will bother you. Just talk to him as if he were standing in front of you."

Edmund and Lucy simply nodded. Lucy bent over and gave Susan a small kiss on her cheek. "Don't worry Su, I'll find him, even if I have to go to Aslan's country."

Meanwhile Peter and Edmund talked. "Take care of Lucy," Peter said quietly. "She's never been in battle, she's still a child."

Edmund agreed, "I promise. Don't worry. She'll stay out of battle." Peter nodded and the two hugged each other.

"I can't imagine going without you," Edmund said quietly.

"It's your turn to be the big brother; you'll do Susan and me proud. I'm sure of it."

Edmund smiled at his brother and nodded. Lucy quickly gave Peter a hug and then the two younger children left. Peter just sat next to Susan and hugged her.

"Aslan," he called aloud. "I know that I'm prideful, stubborn and rash. But, Susan, she's the opposite. She's good, kind, unselfish. She has so much to live for. Please, let my siblings go back; let them retrieve the cordial or the horn. Please, we can't loose her."

And as he spoke those words, Lucy and Edmund felt the familiar tug of Narnia as they began to be enveloped in air.

They were going home.

As everything else was going on, Susan dreamt of Narnia.

_Flashback_:

_Groaning, Susan opened her eyes to see that both Peter and Lucy were missing. She immediately woke Edmund up._

"_Ed, Ed, wake up."_

_He stirred, "Just five more minuets mom," he mumbled. _

"_Ed," she said loudly. "Peter and Lucy are missing."_

_Edmund immediately opened his eyes, and jumped up. "I'll wake up our Dear Little Friend," he said, "Go find them."_

_She nodded and drew her bow, ready for anything. She ran through the woods, faster than normal. She felt a tug, like that she needed to find them. She heard battle cries, and recognized Peter's voice. She looked behind her, where Edmund and their DLF followed. She saw Lucy hiding next to a log. _

"_Lucy," she said. "It's okay." She nodded to Edmund who drew his sword, "Luce, we may need your cordial." She then nodded to Edmund and Lucy as they heard the clash of swords stop._

"_Peter," she called out, as they ran over the hill. She was shocked to see, Centaurs and many other creatures of Narnia. But the thing that stopped her heart was a man. He was tall, with dark hair and haunting brown eyes. For a moment, time stopped, and the two just starred at each other. This man seemed to notice who she and the other were._

"_I expected you to be older," he said. Judging from his gaze at her, however, he didn't seem to mind. She just stared back at him. Yes he was very handsome, but they had come back to Narnia for a purpose and she was determined not to become attached, like last time. She knew that she would go home soon, and she couldn't bear to go through the pain of loosing Narnia twice. So, she simply moved her eyes to Peter, who seemed to be somewhat wary of this man._

"_Well, we could come back in a few years." Peter said somewhat humorously._

"_No," the man said quickly._

_Peter and this man exchanged a little more pleasantries, before Peter went to inspect the army. But first Peter looked at his siblings, "This is Caspian, the man who called us."_

_Lucy smiled widely, "Pleased to meet you Prince Caspian," she said happily. "I hope that we'll be able to help. I'm Lucy."_

_Edmund looked wary of Caspian, "King Edmund," he said shortly. " So you are a Talmerine, yet you lead the Narmians?"_

_Caspian nodded. "My uncle tried to kill me, in order to steal my throne. The Narnians and I have a common enemy. If we win, they shall have their land and freedom."_

"_How large is the Talmarine army?" she asked bluntly._

_Caspian turned his gaze to hers. "You are Queen Susan?" He asked quietly. _

_She felt nervous, and she wasn't sure why. She was used to handsome men, in the old times, she had many suitors, but had never lost her heart. She held her head up high before replying, "I am."_

_Caspian bowed. "An honor, it is thanks to you that you are here then."_

"_You have my horn?" She asked. After her bow, it was one of her most prized possessions._

"_Yes, I do." He said with a smile._

_She allowed herself to smile back. _

_Peter fake coughed, breaking his gaze, as he said, "I believe Queen Susan asked how large the army is."_

_Caspian took his eyes from her, to look at her brother, "The army is quite large. At least 1000 men."_

_The four looked at each other. "And how big is the Narnian army?" Peter asked._

"_500," Caspian said. "Which is why we called you."_

"_Then let's get to work," Peter said._

_They all nodded, and began to walk to the headquarters. She quickly started walking to avoid looking at the handsome prince. She meant what she said to Lucy. She would enjoy Narnia, but she couldn't and would not allow herself to loose her heart here. Her spirit wouldn't be able to survive leaving again, if she became attached._

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

I'm so sorry for not updating for a while. I've been taking care of my great grandmother and participating in my friend's wedding. The dress was BRIGHT PINK, with a LIME GREEN BOW… Yeah, nuff said. So here is chapter 4: ENJOY

Chapter 4:

Edmund and Lucy felt the tug of Narnia, as a gust of wind propelled them onto a ship. They looked around confused. It was the dark of night, the boat looked deserted.

"Ed, where are we," Lucy whispered.

Edmund was looking over the ship's bow. "We're on a ship called the _Dawn Treader_. This is a Narnian ship."

"Do you think that we'll find the cordial," Lucy asked quietly.

Edmund looked at Lucy sharply. "Lucy, you were always the faithful one. You were the one who never gave up on hope. So, please, don't ask me that. Just keep the faith. We'll find it, we have to."

"Who goes there," a voice called from other side of the ship. A man, around thirty, with dark locks, a gruff Talmarine accent walked twords them. "Who are you," he angrily asked.

"Friends of Narnia," Edmund answered for them. "And, pardon me for asking, but, who rules Narnia?" Edmund questioned.

"Why King Caspian, of course." The captain said, looking at Edmund was a small child.

Lucy interjected, "I think what he means is which Caspian?"

"Caspian the 10th. The Seafarer, Rebuilder of Cair Paravel, and keeper of the magical horn."

Edmund and Lucy stared at each other for a moment.

"That's not possible," Edmund breathed.

Lucy on the other hand, looked extatic. "Aslan must have changed the time difference. Tell me," she said turning to the captain. "Is there any Narnian's who fought in the battle between the Narnian's and the Telmarines?"

The captain looked at Lucy, "Why yes. The mouse Reepicheep is here. He's currently downstairs, trying to plan an escape for our King."

"Caspian's in trouble?" Lucy asked worriedly. "Where is he?"

"He was put into slavery, and we need a way to make everyone on this island know that he is their King. How do you know the King?"

"We knew him long ago," Edmund said. "Could you please direct me and my sister to Reepicheep?"

"Of course," the captain said. As they began to walk, the captain asked, "May I ask, who are you two?"

Edmund and Lucy turned and smiled at him. "King Edmund and Queen Lucy, from the old times. Now, we have work to do. More than Caspian's freedom is at stake."

Meanwhile in England, Peter sat by Susan's bedside. He had never seen his sister so broken. He would give everything up to see her open her eyes again. Breathing in heavily, he began to talk to her.

"Susan," Peter said quietly. "You are a Queen of Narnia; you have the strength to wake up. You've always been strong. You've always been there for all of us. Now, let me be there for you. Please, Sue. The battle, at the castle," he paused ashamed at what had happened that night. "You wanted me to call it off. You saw that we were doomed, yet when I gave the order to continue, you didn't hesitate in helping me." He paused and let out a bitter laugh, "And then, with the white witch? I know you were disappointed in me, but you still accepted my council when I asked you to take Lucy. Truthfully, I wanted you safe. I knew that you didn't like to fight, I wanted to protect you. But it wasn't me. Caspian was the one who saved you. Don't die after he saved you. Please, Susan," he begged gripping her hand.

Silence…

Peter burst into tears, and as Peter held Susan's hand, she dreamt of Narnia, of when she was strong, of when she was a Queen.

"_They've seen us," Lucy cried. _

_She urged the horse to go faster, but when she noticed that the soldiers would soon overtake them, she made a split second decision._

_Growing up, she was the motherly one. She took care of her siblings, made their lunches, cleaned Peter and Edmund up after their fights, tried to shield Lucy from all harm. It was her need to protect her younger sister that she slid of Deserai. _

"_Take the reins," she had told Lucy, in a voice that one could not argue with._

"_But," Lucy began._

_She looked around. They didn't have much time. "I'm sorry Lucy, but it looks that you'll be going alone after all." Finishing that, she urged Deserai to go forward. She allowed herself one last look at her sister. Please Aslan, she whispered. Take care of my sister._

_Like Peter said, Lucy was their only chance. For that chance, and for her sister, she was willing to give her life. Silently, she pulled an arrow from her pack, and took careful aim. One wrong move and she would be dead, leaving Lucy vulnerable. She waited for the perfect moment. _

_Taking aim, she quickly unleashed an arrow. As soon as it flew, she grabbed another, and then another, till there were but one soldier left. Drawing an arrow, she was about to let it fly, when the soldier's horse nearly trampled over her, causing her to fall. Even though she was terrified, she still tried to __ reach for her bow, but she was too slow. For a moment, as the soldier raised his blade, she sent a prayer to Aslan. _

_Please protect my siblings, and Caspian. Please._

_As she tried to move, she heard a battle cry, and to her relief, she saw Caspian. He rode up and slew the solider, within moments. Looking at her, he said with a small smile, "You sure you don't need that horn?" _

_Looking up at him, she felt herself blush. Caspian quickly dismounted and helped her up. _

"_You are unharmed," he asked looking her up and down."_

"_I'm fine. How did you know to follow us?"_

"_I saw some soldiers ride in the direction you were heading. I," he paused taking her small hand in his, and hesitantly placed a chaste kiss onto her hand. "My Queen," he said softly, his eyes never leaving hers. "I am glad you are safe."_

_She then did something impulsive. She raised his hand, still intertwined with hers, it to her lips. Bowing slightly, she kissed his knuckles. "Thank you," she paused, her eyes meeting his once again, "my Prince."_

_For a moment, she allowed herself to forget her sister alone in a dark forest, and her brother fighting to the death. She forgot that within a few hours, she would most likely be dead. For this one moment, it was just them._

_She bit her lip, and nodded to him. He jumped back onto his horse, "Come," he said quietly. They both knew their duty, and they would give everything, including their lives to that duty. But now, as she got on the horse, and they began to ride, she knew that she had a reason to live as well. She had a cause to die for, but looking at Caspian, she had something to live for too._

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

I'm so sorry for not writing for a while. I'm in a weird part of my life, I'm unsure of what to do with my future. I go to a college, but I miss my family and home. Now that I'm home, I don't want to go back to college. I love learning but I don't love the location. I have a lot to think about. So, at 1:26 am, my time, I'm going to throw all my frustrations and confusion into this story. Hopefully it will help me find some sort of peace.

Chapter 5:

Edmund and Lucy walked past sleeping soldiers as they followed the Captain through the lower deck. Edmund kept his hand firmly on Lucy's shoulder. He was determined to keep his promise to Peter, that Lucy would stay unharmed and that she would not see battle. Inwardly, he knew that he had no right to wish that, after all, at her age he had faced down the White Witch. Lucy had grown up once before, yet, Peter had always been insistent that she not fight. He had tried to restrain Susan from fighting as well, and in the Golden Age she had obeyed.

However, when they had returned, all of them had seen how times had changed. Susan had retained her skill with the bow, and they had been so outnumbered that they needed every soldier, even if she was a girl. He remembered the moment when she had agreed to fight at Miraz's castle.

_Flashback_

_It had been decided. They would attack the castle that next night. Edmund, Peter, Caspian and Susan had stayed in the great room to hammer out the details of the attack. Peter had asked Trumpkin to take Lucy away, to show her around. He was worried for Lucy, without Aslan, he knew that Lucy wouldn't be as safe. Edmund noted that he was also concerned for Susan._

"_Susan why don't you accompany Lucy," Peter asked his sister quietly._

_Edmund's eyes quickly went to Susan who met Peter's stubborn gaze with one of her own. "And what good would that do? If I am to fight in the battle tomorrow night, I should know the plan."_

_Peter shook his head, "No. I don't want you in the fight. Someone has to stay with Lucy."_

"_Don't give me that excuse, Peter. We're outnumbered as it is, you shouldn't tell one of the greatest archers in Narnia that she can't help. Besides, if you're so worried that Lucy should have a sibling, then call of this attack."_

"_Susan," Peter said frustrated, "This is the quickest way. This will cripple Miraz and his army." _

_She shook her head, "I didn't argue with you in front of the men because you're High King. But, as your sister, I want you to know that I object. It's suicide; there are too many things that could go wrong."_

"_And yet you wish to come?" Caspian said surprised. It had been the first time he had spoken since the council when Peter had outlined his plan._

_Susan nodded her head, her eyes never leaving Peters. "I am a queen of Narnia, who was given a weapon, same as the rest of my siblings. My title may be the gentle, but I will fight with my last breath to protect my," she paused and looked at Caspian, "our people."_

_Peter sighed, "Sue," he began._

_Susan shook her head and turned to face her older brother. "You are sure of this," she questioned gently. "You are aware of the risks? What happens if we fail?"_

_Peter nodded. "But if we prevail, it will be over. Lucy will never be in harm's way. Sue," he paused. "I'm sure. Trust me. Please."_

_For a long moment the three males stared at the girl queen. Hesitantly she nodded her head, "Then I am with you, my liege. I'll fight by your side. Do not ask me to stay. You need me."_

_Peter nodded, "Susan, thank you. I accept your skill, you can fight with us."_

_She nodded numbly, and the four began to plan. After an hour, Peter called the meeting to an end, and the four had dispersed to get some sleep. A few minuets later, Edmund noticed that he had left his flashlight and backpack in the hall. He went to go get it. As he walked he heard voices. Looking up, he saw his sister with Caspian. He quietly started to listen._

"_How large is the castle again?" He heard his sister ask. She was looking at the battle plan._

"_Queen Susan,_ _you have asked that question twice. Trust me, the answer has not changed." The Talmarine Prince said with a trace of humor. "Perhaps you will tell me what truly bothers you? Is this," he paused, "to be your first battle?"_

"_No, Caspian. I've killed_ _before. Peter likes to pretend that I don't fight, unless he really needs me. My skill is impeccable, not to sound arrogant, or anything. I only have used my bow to protect my family. If this battle goes wrong, I don't fear death."_

"_What do you fear my lady?"_

_A pause._

"_I fear for my siblings. Back home, it's hard. Peter fights with everyone."_

"_The high king?"_

_Susan snorted, "He's not a king back home. He's just a boy. The memories of this place, it is a burden for him. This attack is his way to show us all that he is still King Peter the Magnificent. And back home, Edmund is always helping him. You will not believe the amount of bandages I have t o use on them. And Lucy," she paused, "Lucy has so much hope. I fear for the day when she loses it."_

"_But what do you fear? What dark thoughts make you tremble in the night? When your siblings do not exist, and you are simply you? What do you fear?"_

_Edmund watched his sister's face. She had bit her lip, and stood stiff, her hands clenched. _"_Why do you ask me this Caspian?"_

_Now it was Caspian's turn to pause. "You are different. High King Peter is easy to read. He fears loosing the respect of his people. Lucy is scared of your brother losing faith in Aslan. According to the tales, the one thing Edmund was fearful of was of hurting you all again. But they never said what you feared."_

"_I fear," she paused. "Narnia." _

_Edmund saw how shocked Caspian looked, as Susan rushed to explain her answer_

_It's just, I loved here. Narnia was home for so long, and then without warning we returned to England. It's been a year since we left, and every day it has ripped my heart up. Oh Caspian, England is so dull compared to here. Even the colors, it is gray and dark, not like here with color and song. I had finally accepted that I wasn't coming back, only to return. Now, I don't think that I can handle loving Narnia again, I don't think I can bear to lose it."_

_Edmund felt his heart break. While Peter had fought, Susan had mothered them all to death. He hadn't noticed how her eyes would look to the skies, as if she was a bird locked in a cage, just wanting to be free._

"_Queen Susan," Caspian said. "Do not be afraid to love. I lost my mother and father at a young age; their memories are all I have left. If I tried to forget, then I would become bitter. But I have always held the thought that each moment we are given we choose to make it good or bad. Do not allow bitterness to take you. Open your heart, that way, you'll have no regrets."_

"_No regrets," she said softly. "Thank you Caspian," she said with a smile. "What do you fear?"_

_Now it was his turn to pause. "I fear, that I will not be a good king. I fear that I will fail. And, I fear death. Not for myself, but for my professor. He raised me, he's all I have left. When we fight, I need to rescue him. Without him, I'd be dead.__"_

_Susan walked over to him and sat next to him. "Caspian, you're proving yourself right now. You will be a great king. You're passionate, strong, and you want what's best for our people. And don't worry about your professor. We'll rescue him. I promise."_

_"Thank you my Queen."_

With this memory, Edmund walked into the room with Lucy. He would find Caspian. He and Susan deserved their happy ending, filled with no regrets.

_Everyone's POV:_

The door opened, and Lucy saw an old friend.

Reperchief," she cried. Edmund looked up and smiling he called the brave mouse's name as well.

"Your majesties," he said with a bow. "The greatest respects. It is wonderful to have you back in Narnia. And if I do say so myself, you have impeccable timing. King Caspian is in prison. They plan to sell him as a slave on the marrow."

Lucy gasped. "What happened? How dare they attack the King."

Reperchief shook his head, "They don't know that he's the King. No King has visited the lone islands for centuries. If he says that he's King, the people will assume that he's a lunatic."

Edmund nodded. "Do they remember the tales of the King and Queens of old," he questioned.

The captain nodded, "Yes my King."

"Well then," Edmund said "I have a plan."

TBC…

I'll update within the next few days. Tell me if all these flashbacks are too weird, since they aren't in chronological order.


	6. Chapter 6

As usual, I cannot write unless there is some sort of personal crisis going on, and seeing as I don't drink or smoke, this is the one way I can release my emotions and feel at peace. Thank you for reading this, comments are appreciated, but do not feel as if I am some emotional sucking vampire desperate for the attentions of my peers. Sorry, that was random. Seriously, I like to know what you are thinking and how I can best improve my writing style.

This story only has a few more chapters to go; hopefully it will be done by the end of August.

May you all find peace and joy on this day.

Chapter 6:

It was the dark of night, the moon and stars providing the only light as Lucy watched Edmund, Reaperchief and five men rode a boat towards the island. The plan was simple. They would rescue Caspian, in a manner much like the castle raid, only this time, Lucy prayed, with better results.

"Oh Aslan," she breathed. "Let them be alright. Let them find Caspian. Let him still have the horn." Lucy and Edmund had discovered that her cordial was safely locked in the treasury in Caspian's castle, but that the King never went anywhere without the horn of the Gentle Queen. The sailors had informed Lucy that every night, as the sun prepared to set, Caspian would walk to the bow of the ship, his hands gripping the horn. They said that he would stand frigid, bite his lip, and allow the wind to blow in his face, never once wavering in his gaze at the setting sun. It was almost as he was waiting for something, or someone. She could swear that as she watched her brother and his men fade into the darkness, that she heard the calming voice of the Great Lion, that she should not fear, and that he was with her and all her siblings.

Sitting down, she remembered the night after the battle, after Aslan had awoken the trees and the spirits of the land to help save her and her family. She remembered how Caspian had admitted that he was not ready to lead, and Aslan had comforted him, telling him that he was. She remembered what had happened next, she giggled to herself. They should have named her Queen Lucy the observant, along with the valiant.

_Flashback:_

_The battle was won, the Narnian's cheered. Hours later, after the men, both Narnian and Telmarine had been buried; a celebration was set for an hour away. Already, Peter and Edmund had changed out of their suits of armor, and were helping to set up for a feast like none other._

_She had looked around, Susan had always helped in the preparation of these celebrations, and now she was nowhere to be found. She had gone to look for her sister, near the river. Susan had always liked to _

_clean herself after the battle, it was her way of cleansing herself of the blood and the guilt she felt. So, she found herself walking to a small bend in the river, and there was her sister._

_She felt herself gasp. There stood Susan, still clad in her armor crying. She was shaking, her eyes were puffy. Susan's arms were wrapped around herself. As she felt herself walk towards Susan, she shrieked back and hid. What she saw astounded her. It was Caspian, out of his armor, now wearing a plain brown shirt and dark pants walk up to her. He knelt and took her in his arms, as Susan sobbed on his shoulder. For a few minutes they held each other in a hug of comfort._

_She then watched Caspian move away. Ever so carefully, as if she was breakable, he slowly slid her boots off. He took her sisters arms in his hands, and slid her arm guards from her wrists. He then placed a chaste kiss on each of her wrists._

_Unhurriedly he moved up, and without speaking, began to undo her armor. He helped her to slide it off, and then he helped her to stand, and wordlessly, he removed the heavy chainmail from her body, leaving her in a stained dark red skirt and a white undershirt. It seemed at that moment, that both of them had broken out of their respected trances. Susan moved her arms around her, as to appear more modest. She also looked down, refusing to look at Caspian. He turned away and began to walk away._

"_Wait," she heard her sister say lowly. _

_He turned to face her. "My Queen? Have I offended you?"_

"_No, never. It's just," Susan paused, "thank you."_

_It looked like she wanted to say something else, but didn't know how to put it into words. For a few moments they stared at each other wordlessly. Lucy felt like there was a conversation where words were not needed going on between the two rulers of the land. _

_Finally Caspian spoke, "You are welcome," he said with a bow. "No one shall disturb you, should you wish to clean yourself in the river." And with that he walked away, only to turn one last time. "My Queen" he began._

_She watched Susan look up, "Yes?"_

"_I am glad that you are safe."_

_Susan smiled, "It is I who am glad of your safety, my prince. You have saved my life twice now."_

_Caspian smiled back at her, "I will save your life any day, My Queen."_

_He nodded and walked away, and Lucy felt herself turning around. Whatever help and comfort Susan had needed, Caspian was able to give it to her. But, Lucy thought to herself, she wasn't going to tell Peter and Edmund about what she had seen._

_End Flashback:_

Lucy felt herself smile. Aslan would fix everything, she was sure of it.

Caspian's POV:

He sat alone in a jail cell, his hand on his beloved's horn. The pirates who had captured him had failed to take it from him. It was almost as if they had not noticed it. For a week he had sat in the cell, and he was to be sold as a slave the next morning.

If only he had a sword he could prove that he was King Caspian the 10th, however, all of his attempts had been in vain. He could not wait to be free, to when he could abolish this horrific practice, and continue on his quest to find the seven missing lords.

Although the seven lords was his first mission, he had another mission. It wasn't a mission, it was more of a hope. No, a fool's hope. He desired nothing else save his Queen returned to him. He loved her, and even though he knew that it was foolish, he desired to grow old with her.

His one hope was to go to the ends of the world, to Aslan's country. There he would beg for the return of Susan.

So deep in thought he was, that he failed to hear the whisperings outside his cell. But then the door opened, and Caspian rose, prepared to fight weaponless, only to his surprise, he saw King Edmund.

"Come on Caspian," he whispered. "We don't have much time."

He nodded and followed Edmund out.

"Why are you here?" He asked the just King.

Edmund turned to face him and spoke the words that chilled his blood, "Susan is dying."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

"_Susan's dying"_

Caspian felt as if a sword had pierced his heart. All color drained from his face, his hands shook, he felt himself losing control.

"What happened?" He heard himself saying.

Edmund quietly shook his head. "Later, now we need to get you out of here."

Caspian felt himself moving, pinning Edmund up against the wall. "What happened," he repeated forcefully.

Edmund sighed, and shook his head. "Do you really want to wake the guard? We need to get back to the ship so you can save her. Unless you'd rather be involved in the killing of her younger brother."

Sighing, Caspian loosened his grip and let him go. "Fine, the moment we get on the ship you will tell me everything."

Wordlessly Edmund nodded and the two raced to the sea, where a small boat was waiting to take the Kings to the Dawn Treader.

CASUE-SUSPIAN

As two sailors rowed the small boat out of harm's way, the two Kings faced each other, numerous emotions flashing past their features. Caspian wanted to speak, but he couldn't say the words. His Susan, the woman he loved, was dying. It was almost impossible to comprehend.

Edmund noted his friends despair and began to speak. "We've been home for six months," he began, "And for the most part Peter, Lucy and I were trying to move on. Lu and I knew that we'd come back someday, and Peter was okay. Even though he was still treated like a kid, he faced life with the courage benefiting the High King of Narnia. Susan, though, was different. It was like only her body returned. She left her heart here."

"You mean to say that," Caspian interrupted in a quiet voice.

"Yes, she loves you. She went through the motions, put on a show for Mother, but every night we heard her cry," Edmund said turning to face Caspian, anger in his eyes for what his sister had gone through.

"I went to her room one night. It was the first night of snow, and Susan had her hand against the window. When I walked over to her, and put my hand on her shoulder, you know what she said?"

Caspian shook his head.

"She said that it was the same moon. That no matter where either of you were, you would always be looking at the same moon, and that she would always love you. She then started to cry, saying how she still had so much to learn. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, harder than the battle at Miraz's Castle."

Caspian was silent. He remembered the moment where they had stood under the same moon. It was after he had taken her to see his mother's garden. She had been so ecstatic, he already loved her, but seeing her happy made his heart burst with joy.

_Flashback:_

_He took her to a bench and sat beside her. Together they marveled at the beauty of the night. It was so calm, so quiet, as compared to the cacophony of earlier. Hesitantly, he took her hand in his. She had looked over at him and smiled pure adoration from her eyes._

"_Thank you Caspian." _

"_It was my pleasure to show you this," he said smiling back at the beauty that was in front of him._

"_No," she said, her fingers slowing intertwining with his. "Thank you for everything."_

"_It is I who should thank you, My Queen."_

"_Caspian how many times must I ask you to call me Susan?"_

_He took her hand and slowly moving it to his lips where he placed a sweet kiss to it. "As you wish," he felt himself pausing before uttering a name so sweet, "Susan."_

_Together they just stared at each other._

"_Thank you for saving me." He felt himself look confused as she continued. "You have saved me twice, once when the solider was about to kill me, the other by the river. No," she paused, "please don't say anything. Before, it was I who always comforted my family. Whenever Peter was hurt, Lucy was scared, or Edmund was scorned, I was always there to pick up the pieces. No one has ever done that for me, save you. " She reached up and moved a strand of his hair to behind his ear. There had never been a moment when he had desired a woman as much as he had desired her at that moment._

"_And thank you for calling us home. You showed us all who we could be again; I thank you, for all my siblings." _

"_The horn brought me you, I will be forever grateful."_

_Together they just sat, content to stare at each other, the moon their only source of light, with dark eyes of the earth, penetrating deep pools of sapphire, as if their souls had become interconnected._

_Suddenly Susan spoke, "Do you recall what I said when you asked what I feared?"_

_He nodded unsure of where this conversation was heading._

"_If I leave tomorrow, I don't want any regrets. I want to say that I lived for every moment."_

_He understood what she was saying, but he needed to make sure that it was what she wanted, so he posed a question to her. _

"_Can you say that? Have you lived every moment as if it was your last?"_

"_Oh Caspian, if I asked you, would you kiss me?"_

_He felt himself leaping for joy, but had to contain himself. He grinned, "Are you asking me too?"_

_She smiled and nodded."Yes, I am."_

_That was all the encouragement he needed. He removed his hand from hers and put it on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. His other hand went around his beloved's back. Slowly, as slowly as the moon turned, the inched towards each other. Her lips were red, her eyes held excitement and want. He felt himself grinning like a fool._

_As he moved in to capture her lips with his, suddenly a voice was heard from the distance. _

"_Susan," the voice called. Susan suddenly pulled away. For a moment they both looked at each other, exasperated, before Susan slowly kissed him on the cheek. He held her a moment longer, knowing that it would end soon._

"_Susan," the voice called again. "Where are you?"_

_Slowly she removed himself from his embrace before calling out, "Peter I'm over here."_

_Inwardly he felt himself wanting to murder the high king for his rotten timing. The woman he desired had admitted feeling towards him, only to be spoiled by her older brother._

"_I should go," she whispered._

_He felt himself nod, but needed one bit of reassurance, "Tomorrow night, no interruptions," he said gruffly._

_She smiled back, "no interruptions."_

_End Flashback_

Caspian felt himself anger at the fact that she was hurt, he needed to know everything.

"What happened?"

Edmund breathed in, "We were heading for school and a car,"

"A what?"

"A machine hit her. We got her to the hospital as fast as we could. The doctor told us that she had lost the will to live. Her body was the one thing keeping her alive," Edmund continued. "With that broken, her soul had no reason to stay alive. We needed a miracle. Lucy begged Aslan to hear us, and to allow us to come back. We were sent to the Dawn Treader." Edmund let out a small laugh, "We were lucky that you're still alive."

Caspian looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Narnian time and our time is different. The last time we left for a year, 1300 years past. We come back six months later and it has been," Edmund said looking at Caspian.

"3 years."

"3 years. We had no idea if we'd have to go to Aslan's country to get you. That is," he paused, "you still love her. You haven't moved on?"

"No," Caspian replied curtly. "I will love your sister till the day I die and afterwards. There is no one else."

"Good," Edmund nodded. "Because you'll need every bit of love you have to wake her up. She needs to know that you're with her, and that she needs to wake up. Not just for us, but for you."

"She will wake up," Caspian said, looking to the moon, "she has to."

Please Aslan, he thought to himself. Let my love live.

TBC…

Please Please Please tell me your opinions. Chocolate chip cookies to whoever does. I would seriously be honored if you guys could all review. I won't say the more reviews the faster I'll update, but I would like to know what you think. Happy August. Shan…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Meanwhile in England, a brother watched helplessly as his sister slept motionless. Slowly he took her cold hand in his, "Please Sue," he said, "wake up."

But Susan didn't hear him, instead she remembered.

_Flashback_

"_Have we done something wrong," Peter asked sadly after Aslan had told them that they would never return to Narnia._

_The great lion shook his head, "No, you have not. You have both made me proud. But your time here is over; you have learned all that you can here. Now you must take what you learned and apply it in your own world."_

"_Aslan, please," she begged, all flashes of dignity forgotten, "We, I have so much to learn here." _

_For a moment Aslan just stared at her before looking over and calling Caspian's name._

_She felt herself stiffen as she turned to look at Caspian, the man she could love, given a few more days. She felt the tears threatening to fall. She stared at him, memorizing every, but especially his eyes, the color of dark chocolate and diamonds. She memorized his face, strong and stoic. Yes, this man was now a king, and she was falling in love._

_She turned to Aslan, and plead silently to stay, to love. Oh please, Aslan, please, she thought to herself. I can't go back to England, I can't. I never fit in there, how will I be able to now? What boy will compare to this man? Please Aslan, have mercy._

_It was as if Aslan could read her thoughts, because he slowly shook his mane. She felt herself ready to break; she needed to get out of there. She walked away, Aslan following her. The moment she was no longer near Caspian, she broke down, all thoughts of dignity forgotten, as she fell to the ground and began to cry._

"_I am sorry, dear one," Aslan said. "But you both must move on. Caspian's destiny is intertwined with that of a star, yours is in England."_

"_Aslan please," she began, only to be stopped by a roar. _

"_Child", he said with an angry. "My word is final."_

End Flashback

As the memory replayed itself time and time again, Susan felt herself falling into a deeper and deeper sleep and depression.

In her mind, she found herself in a pool of darkness. She fell, allowed tears to fall. She shook.

"Let me die," she cried out.

She heard the voice of the great lion. "Child, why do you wish death?"

"Aslan," she called out. "My body is broken, as is my mind and soul. There's nothing, nothing left."

"And your siblings? They are nothing?"

"They'll be fine. Aslan, my whole life I've tended to them, now I ask something for me."

"Why is your world so bleak?"

"It's not my world," she screamed. "I have inhabited a world that was not my own for six months, hoping that the pain would go away. I just want to go home."

"Narnia was not your world."

"No, but it was home."

"Child," he began.

"I'm not a child anymore," she felt herself get angry. She stood and walked over to Aslan. "I grew up, you ensured that. I've fought with skill, I killed and watched others die in front of me. I have seen men die, and I tell you know that it is not glorious. It is not as the tales say, filled with honor and glory.

"Father Christmas told you that you should not fight," Aslan spoke quietly. "If you hadn't, you would be more like your younger sister, filled with hope and faith. You could have stayed a child longer."

Susan looked up, tears threatening to fall, but kept the dignity of a Queen as she spoke the next words, chosen carefully.

"Aslan, you forget, I watched you die. I stopped being a child the moment the White Witch killed you. I comforted my sister that night. I had to be the grown up. Lucy, yes, she was able to stay a child, but only because, I grew up. I needed to be grown up for her. Aslan, I haven't been a child for a long time. I am not the little girl you once knew."

"Susan," the great lion began only to be stopped by Susan's words.

"I fell in love."

"Love?"

She looked straight into his eyes. "Yes love."

"And, you are sure?" Aslan asked, his eyes pouring into hers.

" I know what I feel for him is real. Please, do not think me a foolish girl for knowing that I love him."

"And what if he is dead? Would you still return to Narnia?"

"He is dead. It's been six months in our time. Over a hundred years have past. There is no way he could be alive. But, know that I love him. I love him, and that is worth everything. You proclaimed that we couldn't be together in Narnia, what about afterwards, in your country? Let me die, let me go to him. I never lost faith in you. Please, grant me this," she finished.

For a moment the two stood, Susan standing regally, her dignity and radiance shining to Aslan. Aslan could see that she meant every word that she spoke, and he knew that there was a reason for everything to happen.

He chose his words wisely, "Gentle Queen of the Radiant Southern Sun, remember, nothing happens the same way twice. Keep hopes, you still have one lesson left." And with that he turned and walked away.

She shook her head, "No, I can't wake up. It hurts too much. The cost is too high."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"King coming aboard," Reaperchief cried. Lucy turned and jumped straight into Caspian's arms.

"I knew we'd find you," she whispered in his ear. "And I know you'll help save her."

Edmund looked over at Lucy, his heart filled with joy at his sister's face. Always, she had never wavered, and he knew that her faith was the reason that Aslan allowed them back.

Slowly Caspian put Lucy down. "I will help in any manner that I can."

"So blow the horn," Edmund said.

Caspian nodded and brought the horn to his lips. Without hesitation he blew it.

Nothing happened.

The two Kings and the one Queen stared at each other.

"Why didn't it work?" Lucy asked sadly.

Edmund shook his head, "I don't know, let's get some rest and try again. Remember everything happens for a reason."

They all nodded and went to their respected chambers. It had been a very long day.

Caspian on the other hand couldn't sleep. Instead he walked into his room, and quietly locked the door.

"Aslan," he said, "As King I wish to speak with you."

"You forget" a voice boomed overhead, "I am not a tame lion. I do not come by request."

"And I," Caspian said just as forcefully, "am no longer a boy whose destiny you can toy with."

Silence, and then, "And what is so wrong with your destiny. The Greatest King since the Kings and Queens of old."

"Worthless without her. Please, save her life. Let her live."

"What would you give to save her?"

"Anything and everything," Caspian replied without hesitation.

"And," Aslan said quietly, "What of your duty to your land? I made you a king to unite Narnia, you cannot leave."

"Then send her to me."

"And politically how would that factor in? Telmarines would curse her, claim that you favor Narnians more. No, you were meant to meet your wife on this journey."

Caspian shook his head, "I desire no wife other than Susan."

"Caspian, from the moment your eyes met, the world around you ceased to exist. Nothing mattered as much to you anymore," he sighed, growing more serious. "I'm not sure if a love like that is a good thing or not. It's so intense I sometimes fear it will burn you, Susan and Narnia."

"We did our duty once before. We will do it again."

The great lion slowly shook his head, "Do you recall when you followed Susan and Lucy into the forest, to ensure their survival?"

Caspian nodded, too angry to speak a word.

"You rescued Susan that day. What will happen the next time she needs protection, and you cannot give it to her?"

"She is a skilled warrior, she can defend herself," he said although his confidence was starting to drop. The thought that he couldn't defend her, protect her, hold her, love her, was almost too painful for him to bear.

"And if she dies? What will you do then? Break into a greater depression then you already are in?"

Caspian looked at Aslan sharply, "Do you think so low of me that I could not continue my duty? If something happens to her, my heart will stop beating, but I will continue in my duties. I just," he paused, "want to remember every moment with her, and I want more memories with her. Is that too much to ask?"

"You ask to change both of your destinies?"

"Was it destined for her to die six months after returning to her world? If you will not allow us to be together, allow me to help bring her back to life, to where she can live, move on, and" he broke down allowing a small tear to run down his face, "find a man worthy of her love."

"Caspian," the great lion said. "This is not a fairy tale. You cannot just appear in her world, kiss her awake, and bring her back. Sacrifices must be made."

"So I'll make them. Whatever the cost. Aslan, I love her. I've known since the moment I met her. It is not just her beauty, or skill with the bow. It's absolutely everything. Please."

And at that moment, Caspian allowed himself to remember his last memory. It was of right after their kiss, when he held her in his arms.

Flashback

"_No regrets, right," she asked choking back a sob, clinging on to him for dear life. _

"_None my love," he whispered into her ear. "Don't go," he begged her._

"_I have too. I," she paused, "asked to stay, I was told no."_

"_Ask again."_

"_Caspian," she says as she pulls away from him, "you have to let me go."_

_Slowly, he moves his hand to touch her cheek, "Never."_

_She took his hand into hers and slowly curtsied and kissed it. "Goodbye."_

_She didn't turn back._

_End Flashback_

"So it shall be done." And with that the lion roared a terrible roar and Caspian's world went black.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Colors swirled around her, she felt herself rising as light as a feather. This was so unlike any feeling she had felt before. While their last adventure into Narnia was filled with sound and the pull of something, this was much different. Susan couldn't describe it, but it felt peaceful.

She landed on the sands of an island. Hesitantly, she put one foot forward and looked around. She didn't recognize it, but its presence was sure. She was home. Spinning madly, she giggled dancing in a land of mirth and joy.

After allowing herself a moment of joy, she allowed herself to look around. Around forty feet from her was a small grove of trees. She felt drawn to it. Hesitantly, she took a first step.

As she entered the grove, a series of stone steps appeared. Slowly she felt herself walking down them, towards what appeared to be a small stream. The smell of primrose and promises filled the air. Strands of gold and silver were fluttering. Looking above, she could see the sky. Twilight was near, clad in misty blue with a hint of lavender and spring.

Walking towards the stream she saw a table fit for kings. On the table sat three men, all in a deep sleep. Curiously she shook them, but they didn't budge.

The food must be poisoned, she thought to herself. As she surveyed the table, she saw a silver hand mirror, engraved with stars and hints of what was to come. She lifted the mirror and looked in.

When she looked in, a wedding ceremony appeared. There stood her King, her love, smiling down at his bride, love apparent in his eyes. But the bride was not her. The bride was blonde, her eyes the color of a bright star, her body shimmering.

Susan felt her whole body shake as she watched those two exchange rings and kisses. The kiss he gave her was the opposite of her kiss. His kiss to this woman was passionate, long lasting, everything a wedding kiss should be. They turned as Aslan named them man and wife, happiness shining from the both of them.

Susan couldn't bear to watch any longer. Slowly she put the mirror down, and sat at the table. Tears filled her eyes, and for once in her life, dignity and pride were completely forgotten. She cried the tears of every broken heart, of her exile from her home, from losing the one man she could love.

But she couldn't hate him. It was obvious that he loved the woman standing next to him, that much was clear. She wouldn't allow herself to despise him for moving on. She knew that he would have to take a wife, produce an heir; she just hadn't known how much it would hurt to see it. She just wanted to forget.

"And forget you can," a voice said from behind.

Startled she turned, "Aslan?" she cried.

"Would you forget? Hide your pain so deep within your heart that you do not remember? Pretend this was a childhood game that is over?"

She shook, "I, I don't know."

"Would you forget? Would you forget," the voice turned into a lion, "me?"

Susan opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't help herself. She fell to the ground tears falling freely.

Caspian awoke in a land between dreamland and reality. Walking downward, the streets of a city engulfed him. Smoke screens, the chaotic cacophony of voices yelling gave him a headache. The color of the city was dull, lifeless. The people were the same. Gone were the faces of hope and joy, now only the look of weariness and apathy.

Walking down the path, he saw a house, filled with the aroma of cheap liquor, sweat and hard times. Women smoked, men drank, drowning their sorrows into a world of numb and exhaustion. For a moment, they could forget only to feel the sharp pain ten times worse when they awoke from the bliss of whiskey and wine.

Looking over, he saw her. The queen of his heart, his queen of the southern skies, his Susan. She sat on a stool, nursing a cigarette and a glass of harsh red wine. She didn't look like her; she didn't smell like her, the smell of fresh flowers and compassion, now were of dry mascara and resignation.

"She has forgotten you. You never existed," a voice said in his head.

"No," he growled to himself. "Never." He ran to her, "Susan," he cried.

She looked up, her eyes lifeless. "Yes. Do I know you?"

"It's me. Caspian."

"I don't know you."

Caspian felt himself falling, hopelessly down a dark hole from which there was no escape.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Caspian stood in a mist of dark clouds, emotions consuming him.

"Aslan," he asked, "what happened?"

"This is what could happen to her. A glimpse into her undecided future."

"She forgets me?"

"She chooses to not believe. She loses faith and hope. She thinks that I abandoned her."

Caspian's nostrils roared, "You did. You refused her reentry into Narnia."

"No Caspian King! If she had endured, she would have returned on her death. I did not imagine that her death would be so soon."

"There is nothing you can do?"

"It is up to her. If she chooses to have faith in me, she will awaken from her coma, and live," the great lion paused, "with you, as your Wife and Queen."

"And if she does not?"

"She will become what you saw. It is up to her. Come, you may see her."

"Would you forget?"

Susan cried on that island, the words running through her head. She knew that Caspian would have to take a wife, and have a child, she just wasn't prepared for the pain.

"Would you forget?"

Could she forget? Would it dull the pain? To forget a Prince, nay, a Kung, who bewitched her, ruining it for any other man?

But could she forget the great lion? The feeling of a bow in her hand, the feeling of spring, of Lucy dancing with fauns, of Peter dueling, of Edmund's smile, so rare in England? No, she couldn't, and she wouldn't.

"No I won't forget," she spoke the words with power and grace.

With a boom, she turned to see Aslan. Kneeling down to the ground, "My liege," she spoke quietly.

Aslan raised her up. "Well done daughter, you're wish is granted. Live and love. As King and Queen."

Susan looked over Aslan's shoulder to see Caspian, standing behind him. Smiling she walked over to him, only this time, it was Caspian who initiated the kiss between them.

"Welcome home, Queen of my Heart," he said quietly.

"Your siblings are awaiting you. Three years have passed," Aslan said. "The five of you will rule. Never again will I break your hearts."

The two nodded to the lion, who then took his leave.

"Marry me?" Caspian asked quietly.

Susan nodded, as she captured his mouth with hers, passion, longing, all the emotions and longing pulling into a single kiss.

"Let's go home."

And they did, and they lived happily ever after.

The End


End file.
